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Adolescence. (L to R) Owen Cooper as Jamie Miller, Erin Doherty as Briony Ariston, in Adolescence. Cr. Courtesy of Ben Blackall/Netflix © 2024. Individual permission to use. Courtesy of Netflix

How Adolescence shows why boys should be encouraged to befriend girls

A social media content creator and parent has revealed how Netflix’s Adolescence motivated him to speak out on why boys and girls should be encouraged to be friends.

The new series has been a trending topic on social media, with many viewers congratulating those behind it for how it reflected issues in society.

Adolescence, starring well-known actors such as Stephen Graham and Ashley Walters, was released on 13 March and tells the story of Jamie, and how him murdering a girl affected the day-to-day life of his family.

Father of two and content creator, Tom Slack, 38, posted a video on TikTok which amassed more than 70,000 views, stating parents should actively encourage friendships between boys and girls, due to the demonstration of Jamie’s lack of regard for the opposite sex in the series.

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Will more mixed friendship groups will be better for society? #parenting #dadmantom #adolescence

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Slack said: “You hear parents of young girls and young boys who have got a friend at school, who is of the opposite sex and from a young age, at five or six-years-old, they start going ‘Ooo is that your boyfriend or your girlfriend?’, they try to make it out to be something that it’s not. 

“A five or six-year-old is not going into a friendship with the opposite sex with an intention of being their partner. 

“They have just found someone that they enjoy playing with because they have common interest.

“They don’t see sexuality, they don’t see the gender of someone, they don’t see any of the stuff that we are made to see as we get older or that we do see.”

He added such statements encourage boys from a young age, to no longer view themselves at an equal level with girls as, instead making them subconsciously understand that a girl only exists to become a partner, not a friend.

Father of two and Content Creator, Tom Slack says parents should actively encourage friendship between boys and girls. (Permission to use)

There is a scene in Adolescence where Jamie is asked by a psychologist if his father is friendly with other women and is confused by, assuming the question to be about whether his father has been unfaithful in his marriage.

He confirms that his father’s friends are only men and asks “is that wrong? ”.

Some viewers may understand this to mean Jamie is not able to humanise women and girls in the same way that he does men.  

Slack said: “My friendship group at secondary school was probably five to six boys and about five girls. 

“As we were a bit older, there was the odd one or two relationships between a few people, but overall, most of us were just friends. 

“Then I can think of groups of other people at the school, groups of boys that weren’t friends with any girls and groups of girls that were not friends with any boys either. 

“There was definitely a different dynamic in those two groups than there was in our group.”

He described this dynamic reflecting more within the boys’ friendship groups, stating a more lad culture was evident which consisted of catcalling.

Owen Cooper as Jamie Miller in Adolescence. Individual permission to use Cr. Courtesy of Netflix © 2024. Courtesy of Netflix
Netflix’s Adolescence: Jamie’s chat with the psychologist. Owen Cooper as Jamie Miller in Adolescence. Cr. Courtesy of Netflix © 2024. Courtesy of Netflix

Slack described competitions surrounding boys versus girls, can add to the lack of friendship between both genders, as it does not present a clear message that boys and girls can work together but rather, in a subtle way, that they are in competition with one another.

In the final scenes of the series, viewers are invited to witness the pain of a parent losing their son to, as some viewers have stated, radicalisation, social media, toxic masculinity or the red pill movement.

Jamie’s father is seen in tears, tucking Jamie’s teddy into his bed. He whispers “I’m sorry son” and “I should’ve done better.”

The series ends with a moving shot of the teddy bear tucked into Jamie’s bed.

Stephan Graham as Eddie Miller in Adolescence - individual permission to use.
Netflix’s Adolescence: the final scenes with Jamie’s father. Stephen Graham as Eddie Miller in Adolescence. Cr. Courtesy of Ben Blackall/Netflix © 2024. Courtesy of Netflix

Slack said: “I think that last scene was difficult to watch because that was him realising, he lost his little boy, like with the teddy bear, he just realised that he lost him.

“It must be heart-breaking, to be honest. It must feel like you failed, I imagine. 

“You’ll just be looking at yourself thinking what could you have done differently?”

He advised parents to be aware of the dangers of social media, and to talk openly with their children about it and the correct way to use it so they can learn from an early age what’s right and what’s wrong.

Slack said: “It’s concerning having children that are going to one day use social media, but we have got to do our best to help them through it and be there for them when needed.”

Featured image: Cr. Courtesy of Ben Blackall/Netflix © 2024. Courtesy of Netflix. Permission to use.

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