“I knew all my attackers. I knew the person that raped me.”
These are the words of one victim, who wishes to remain anonymous, when speaking about her experiences with violence against women and girls (VAWG).
More than two thirds of reported rape victims knew their attacker in some capacity.
As such, it’s unsurprising that women have had to teach themselves a series of questions to try and fight the “pandemic” that is VAWG.
‘Can I call you on my way home?’ ‘Is it safe to get a taxi if I’m on my own?’ ‘I’ll only put one headphone in, I can still hear what’s going on around me.’
Data provided by the Met Police from 2022 showed that 68% of rape victims knew their attacker in some capacity, with 58% of rape victims having a closer connection to their attacker.
But VAWG extends beyond rape, encapsulating a host of other crimes, including sexual offences, harassment and different forms of abuse.
The World Health Organisation states that at least 30% of women globally have reported physical, sexual, or intimate partner or non-partner violence.
An awareness event held by the Met Police in November revealed that four-fifths of women and girls have been harassed in public in England and Wales, and a quarter have been raped or sexually assaulted.
‘Was I overreacting? Was what he did that bad?‘
Speaking about their experiences, the victim discussed the difficulties of facing different types of VAWG crimes, after experiencing rape, domestic abuse and coercion.
She said: “It’s so much harder to recognise I think is the problem when it isn’t physical. If you’re getting beaten up, you can’t go outside without someone noticing. It’s not easier to leave but it’s much harder to justify it to yourself.
“But with the type of abuse that it was, it’s so much harder to recognise because you are genuinely gaslit into believing that you are crazy.
“When you have something mental, I consistently put myself in harm’s way to keep the peace.”
This the beginning of the battle for many women, where they begin fighting a tide.
Firstly, fighting a series of comments and actions that have tried to convince them that domestic abuse or coercion is okay.
Secondly, finding the courage to speak out to peers, and try to escape their situation, often with no safety net or reassurance they’ll be believed.
And thirdly, finding the courage to report their attacker, the challenge of building a case, and the worry of no conviction.
Despite the grey areas women find themselves navigating when coming up against violent or coercive behaviours from intimate partners, the statistics tell a very black and white story.
The below map highlights reported cases of domestic abuse across all London boroughs between February 2021 and January 2025, collected from the Met Police.
The map highlights Barking and Dagenham as having the most reported cases of domestic abuse per 1000 people in London boroughs, with Richmond upon Thames seeing the least.
A woman has been killed by a man every three days in the UK since 2009, and 61% were killed by a current or former partner, according to a recently released report by Femicide Census, named Women 2000.
When this information, coupled with levels of domestic abuse cases, is considered, the stark reality of the progress yet to be made in the battle with VAWG becomes undeniable.
Speaking to ITV News on International Women’s Day, after reading the victims of domestic homicide in Parliament for the tenth year, Jess Phillips MP said: “One of the changes that I’ve brought in is Raneem’s Law.
“Raneem is a name that I read out on the list, she was killed after she called 999 four times on the night she was murdered and got no response.
“Now, we are placing specialist domestic abuse workers in 999 call centres.”
‘What was the point?‘
Ensuring there is an initial response to emergency calls is a big step in helping women in dangerous situations, but what about the process after the call?
It’s no secret that often, convictions in VAWG cases are hard to get, with plenty of cases coming down to a ‘he said, she said’ scenario, leading to their dismissal before reaching court.
The next chart highlights the proportions of charged, not charged and outcome pending in rape cases between 2018-2021.
Despite a clear process to highlight DNA evidence in rape cases, convictions are still not easy to come by, just as in most other VAWG crimes. It leaves a begging question for victims: is it worth it?
It’s hard to argue that it is when one considers the emotional turmoil the process is likely to cause.
Between 2018 and 2020, there was a 31% decrease in rape convictions, despite only an 11% decrease in reported cases.
When asked about her experiences with the process of building a case against her former partner, the victim said: “The first time I reported him, I just wanted him to leave me alone and he wouldn’t. I ran away from him.
“The first few times that he contacted me I didn’t pick up. The first few times I saw him outside my house I didn’t acknowledge him.
“I couldn’t leave the house or do anything without him knowing where I was his obsession was that much, I didn’t know what he was going to do.
“It was easier for me to take control of the situation, because nothing was being done about him breaking bail, to just talk to him and subdue him.
“It was a protection to ensure my own, and my friends’ safety.”
A lack of police action, due to a lack funding, resources and personnel can often cause victims to feel a need to manage the situation themselves for their immediate safety, which can damage the victim’s case.
Charities and initiatives, often supported by police forces, have been set up to help bridge this gap, with some providing help, advice, support and others providing safe houses for victims to temporarily use if they feel in danger.
Despite this, the number of victims that struggle to get access remains high.
The victim added: “I had some support from a charity, but very much like the NHS, the waiting lists for a charity are just as bad.
“I think when I reported the second time, it was so much harder. I had to gain more evidence so I couldn’t block him.
“I had about three months’ worth of stuff. 40 minutes of voicemails, about 50 pages of texts, ranging from: ‘I’ve seen you today’ to ‘I know where you are, I know where you live, I’m going to come round’ to ‘I’m outside your house now.’
“All that evidence, all that time dredging it up, and nothing happened.”
After reporting her former partner twice, the victim was asked if she would ever report this, or a different case again.
Her answer: “No. No, I’m not doing that.
“Unless there is video evidence. I’m not doing it. What is the point in going through all of that, and reliving all of it, and getting all the evidence for it to still not go forwards?
“What’s the point?”
Due to the victim’s anonymity, the Met Police have been unable to comment on the handling of this case.
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